Lee McDerment Interview

So I believe that NewSpring, has the most amazing Worship Leaders a church could have. After knowing Lee since 1998 and then also knowing Justin for almost as long if not longer, I know that we have that best guys for the job! Lee recently did an Interview, go and check it out! You can also go and listen to his music here!

You Know You Grew Up In the 80’s if:

1. You’ve ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.

2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the
Carlton

3. You know that “WOAH” comes from Joey on Blossom

4. If you ever watched “Fraggle Rock”

5. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch
cartoons.

6. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

7. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer
class at school.

8. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your
shirt in a knot on the side.

9. You played the game “MASH”(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

10. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

11. You know the profound meaning of ” WAX ON , WAX OFF”

12. You wanted to be a Goonie.

13. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us…head-to-toe)

14. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose
fell off and his cheeks shifted.

15. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

16. You took lunch boxes to school…and traded Garbage Pailkids in
the schoolyard.

17. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

18. You still get the urge to say “NOT” after every sentence.

19. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you
exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

21. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

22. After you saw Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure you kept saying “I know you
are, but what am I?”

23. You remember “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”

24. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline
skates.

25. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

26. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your
shoulder like you were all that.

27. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.

28. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli were hot.

29. You remember Alf, the wise-crackin’ lil furry brown alien from
Melmac.

30. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool…and
don’t even flinch when people refer to them as “NKOTB”

31. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on
“Saved By The Bell,” The ORIGINAL class.

32. You know all the words to Bon Jovi – SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

33. You just sang those words to yourself.

34. You still sing “We are the World”

35. You tight rolled your jeans.

36. You owned a bannana clip.

37. You remember “Where’s the Beef?”

38. You used to (and probably still do) say “What you talkin’ ’bout
Willis?”

39. You’re still singing “Shot Through the Heart” in your head,
aren’t you!

There Are Some Things Guys Should Always Do For Girls. Period.

No I did not write these, but I like them!

The following is not a list of rules. They’re suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. Take ‘em or leave ‘em.

0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don’t provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they’re simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.

1. Open doors when possible – whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that’s stood the test of time.

2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don’t get it, don’t worry about it, okay?)

3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet – whatever her preference is – *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)

4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn’t limited, to:
“You & Me” by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of “Everything I Do, I Do it for You”
“Collide” by Howie Day
“Out Of My League” by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY “Question” by the Old 97’s (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
(“Putty in your hands” is not meant to promote “using women” in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)

5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.

6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to “prove himself worthy” through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)

7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.

8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory).

9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.

10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say “hi”.

11. Ask her questions about herself.

12. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/e
tc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks.

13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE …that’s all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It’s even more impressive if he has read the book.)

14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They’re children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level – not “for her”, but for the good of yourself and others.)

15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it’s just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you’re terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It’s the thought that counts on this one. Unless you’re just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade!

16. Kiss her on the forehead.

17. When she’s sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can’t cook, there’s Campbell’s soup at hand for you.

18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you’d better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you’re unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!

19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it’s the small things that win you big points).

20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!

21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.

22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.

23. Don’t call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that’s what she is. (I don’t think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from “hot” [it's so overused and superficial] and step “pretty” up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or…)

24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).

25. Don’t be too proud to apologize.

26. It’s not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you’re standing outside her window with night vision goggles.

27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.

28. If you’re trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.

29. Just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, “Why didn’t you call?”, & being male is not one of them.

30. Don’t check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you “want to get some”. Pull this in front of your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, she has every right to clock you in the jaw.

31. Guys – always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]

32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]

33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it’s because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it’s from the guy’s scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it’s the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It’s just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)

34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don’t want to hear it, guys don’t care about it, adults don’t want to hear it, it doesn’t impress employers, and you sure won’t want your children or someone else’s to hear it!

35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don’t always wait for her to come to you, because if that’s how it always is, you’re going to lose her.

36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you’re trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**

37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don’t make her give in to something she doesn’t want to do.

38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can’t be honest with her, she can’t trust you, and shows you don’t trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.

39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk – always talk – especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.

There Are Some Things Girls Should Always Do For Guys. Period.

DISCLAIMER: No I did not write these, but I like them! Please remember people!!! What do the Pirates say?
“These are more like guidelines, than actual rules…” I know there are exceptions to everything and everyone is different. I know these are not essential to wonderful relationship.

1. As much as you want to talk about past relationships, keep it to a minimum, unless he asks. You don’t want him to feel like he’s in competition with anyone.

2. Every guy has a ‘geeky’ side of him. Whether it be video games, DnD, WoW, anime, football among other sports, or whatever. Don’t make fun of him if you don’t like it, either tolerate it, or learn to like it. DO NOT try to change him. If he’s constantly ignoring you for that hobby of his, tell him.

3. When you hug the boy, hold tight. It doesn’t hurt to rest your head on him either.

4. Compromise for movies. Watch his favorite movies and he’ll give in for the movie you want to see.

5. Sometimes pay for the date! I know guys hate this, but if he takes you out constantly, it’s more than likely he’s going to be poor! Treat him sometime. Even if you just buy the snacks!

6. Hold his hand!! Even in the mall when you have a ton of bags, hold his hand.

7. Don’t run away from his favorite stores, if you don’t like them! Watch him. Gift ideas!!

8. Any time your guy gives you a compliment, don’t just roll your eyes. He means it, and you should smile and say thank you.

9. Guys are pressured to have sex. Stupid society. Anyway, if you want no sex in a relationship, tell him before things get too complicated! You can compromise too. If you are uncomfortable with something, STOP.

10. “Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation. Only makes matters worse.

11. Life isn’t a drama or a movie. This is real life, people. They don’t often come with a sword, armor, and a white steed.

12. NEVER EVER kick them in the place below the belt. Even in a fight or argument, just don’t do it.

13. TRUST HIM. Don’t scream when he looks at another girl. We know you were goggling at the cute guy that just passed. It’s nature. Don’t dig through his phonebook, and hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends. If this makes things awkward, talk about it.

14. This should go without saying. Love him for who he is! Don’t worry about what others think. Don’t try to change him into what’s cool and hip. Some compromises can be made, and tell him that if he ever has a problem you changing him, to tell you.

15. In an argument, just because society stereotypes women as being smarter, more mature, and men as dumb and immature, doesn’t mean you are always right.

16. Listen to him. Even if it’s something you don’t want to hear. Good communication is key.

17. Cook. It may sound stereotypical, but a lot of guys like having a meal cooked for them. A lot of it is the thought, but if you truly are terrible, then maybe this isn’t one you should try. If you know how to cook, maybe teach him, or you both can learn together.

18. Sing. Many girls underestimate how well they sing. You don’t have to be able to sing 10 octaves or whatever. Don’t be embarrassed to sing in front of a guy, just let yourself go a bit and have some fun.

19. Dress modestly. Guys are very visually oriented and get distracted easily. The modest girl is always more likely to be taken seriously in a relationship.

20. Just like girls want girl time, guys want guy time. Giving your guy space to hang with his friends is not only fair, but it shows you trust him in a way.

21. Respect the guy for who he is, not because he earns your respect. Guys relate to each other on a respect level, and if you want him to open up to you, he has to know that you don’t look down on him.

22. Let your guy take pictures of you. He may not admit it, but that picture will probably be with him always. Even if you think it looks horrible.

23. Don’t always expect the guy to be the one to call. It is okay to call your boyfriend on occasion, and it shows him that you care about him and are thinking about him. And don’t get upset if for some reason he doesn’t have time to talk. He does have a life

24. Remind him that you appreciate all the sweet little things he does for you. Let him know it’s not all in vain.

25. If a guy uses a key to let you into his car, reach over and open the door before he gets to it. I know this may be common sense to most girls, but you know, some do not do this. It’s a tiny little action that can make a guy go “hey, she’s considerate.”

26. Let the guy open the door for you or do any other chivalric action. He’s fulfilling your wish for a gentleman, don’t deny him the chance to do something nice for you. Thank him! You are doing all these wonderful things for him, let him return the favor.

27. Communicate with him. Tell him directly what’s on your mind. You can always hope that he’ll get your subtle hints or body language, but if it’s important, you’re better off using words.

28. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don’t always wait for him to come to you, because if that’s how it always is, you’re going to lose him.

29. If they buy you jewelry, wear it around them, even if you don’t like it. They will appreciate it, because it’s the thought that counts.

30. A word of appreciation now and then regarding his protective/kind/chivalrous
attitude will go miles toward the end. You won’t regret it.

31. Get him little gifts and surprises too, it tells him that we do think about him and he gets something he wants out of it.

32. When you are talking to a guy you are interested in, lean in, touch his arm or hand, while your talking. physical touch communicates interest and value.

33. Whether it’s from across the room or while your talking let him know that you are only interested in what he has to said. so look into he’s eyes and smile.

Things that Make You Feel Good

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail from a friend.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach.

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

19. Running through sprinklers.

20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

21. Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful.

22. Laughing at an inside joke.

23. Friends.

24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep before you have to get up.

26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

28. Playing with a new puppy.

29. Having someone play with your hair.

30. Sweet dreams.

31. Hot chocolate.

32. Road trips with friends.

33. Swinging on swings.

34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

35. Making chocolate chip cookies.

36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

37. Holding hands with someone you care about.

38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

39. Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a much desired present from you.

40. Watching the sunrise.

41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

42. Knowing that somebody misses you.

43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

44. Knowing you’ve done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Isn’t it nice to know that there are so many wonderful natural highs?

My momma

So alot of you know that my momma got rushed to the ER today from work. They are saying right now that she had a mini stroke, they caught it before it got to bad. They are still running tests and checking out things. They finally got her blood pressure regulated. Thank you for all of the prayers!

A Challenge to Women

A Challenge to Women

By John Piper
January 1, 1995

That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God.

That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing.

That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven.

That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching. That meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith. And that you continue to grow in understanding through all the chapters of your life, never thinking that study and growth are only for others.

That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God would open to you; and the power of faith and holiness would descend upon you; and your spiritual influence would increase at home and at church and in the world.

That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God undergirding all these spiritual processes, that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers and believers of these things.

That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific role, that you not fritter your time away on soaps or ladies magazines or aimless hobbies, any more than men should fritter theirs away on excessive sports or aimless diddling in the garage. That you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom.

That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married.

That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer.

That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children who hope in the triumph of God, sharing with him the teaching and discipline of the children, and giving to the children that special nurturing touch and care that you are uniquely fitted to give.

That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world. That you not only pose the question: Career vs. full time mom? But that you ask as seriously: Full time career vs. freedom for ministry? That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom— to be in the employ of someone telling you what to do to make his business prosper, or to be God’s free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God’s business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or yuppie lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the family and advance the cause of Christ.

That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life’s ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God’s will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else’s chapter or whether it has in it what chapter five will have.

That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might, and maximizing your joy in ministry to people’s needs.

That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood; that you develop a style and demeanor that does justice to the unique role God has given to man to feel responsible for gracious leadership in relation to women—a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative.

That you think creatively and with cultural sensitivity (just as he must do) in shaping the style and setting the tone of your interaction with men.

That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other not as arbitrary constraints on freedom but as wise and gracious prescriptions for how to discover the true freedom of God’s ideal of complementarity. That you not measure your potential by the few roles withheld but by the countless roles offered. That you turn off the TV and Radio and think about…
The awesome significance of motherhood

Complementing a man’s life as his wife

Ministries to the handicapped

hearing impaired
blind
lame
retarded
Ministries to the sick:

nursing
physician
hospice care—cancer, AIDS, etc.
community health
Ministries to the socially estranged:

emotionally impaired
recovering alcoholics
recovering drug users
escaping prostitutes
abused children, women
runaways, problem children
orphans
Prison ministries:

women’s prisons!
families of prisoners
rehabilitation to society
Ministries to youth:

teaching
sponsoring
open houses and recreation
outings and trips
counseling
academic assistance
Sports ministries:

neighborhood teams
church teams
Therapeutic counseling:

independent
church based
institutional
Audio visual ministries:

composition
design
production
distribution
Writing ministries:

free lance
curriculum development
fiction
non-fiction
editing
institutional communications
journalistic skills for publications
Teaching ministries:

Sunday school: children, youth, students, women
grade school
high school
college
Music ministries:

composition
training
performance
voice
choir
instrumentalist
Evangelistic ministries:

personal witnessing
Inter Varsity
Campus Crusade
Navigators
Home Bible Studies
outreach to children
Visitation teams
Counseling at meetings
Billy Graham phone bank
Radio and TV ministries:

technical assistance
writing
announcing
producing
Theater and drama ministries:

acting
directing
writing
scheduling
Social ministries:

literacy
pro-life
pro-decency
housing
safety
beautification
Pastoral care assistance:

visitation
newcomer welcoming and assistance
hospitality
food and clothing and transportation
Prayer ministries:

praying!!!
mobilizing for major Concerts of Prayer
helping with small groups of prayer
coordinating prayer chains
promoting prayer days and weeks and vigils
Missions:

all of the above across cultures
Support ministries:

countless jobs that undergird major ministries
© Desiring God

Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way, you do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction, and you do not make more than 1,000 physical copies. For web posting, a link to this document on our website is preferred.
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Articles/ByDate/1995/1746_A_Challenge_to_Women/
Any exceptions to the above must be explicitly approved by Desiring God.

Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: www.desiringGod.org. Email: mail@desiringGod.org. Toll Free: 1.888.346.4700.

For the ladies

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I’d rather have the money.

HE : I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must’ve been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don’t you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I’ve already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven’t I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I’m a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what’s your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

FORWARD TO WOMEN IN NEED OF SOME LAUGHS
(and men who may appreciate good humor)

SOME THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

Can you cry under water?
——————————————————————————–
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
——————————————————————————–
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going ?
——————————————————————————-
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
——————————————————————————–What disease did cured ham actually have?
——————————————————————————–
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
——————————————————————————–
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
——————————————————————————-
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
——————————————————————————–
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
——————————————————————————–
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
——————————————————————————–
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
——————————————————————————-
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
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If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
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Birthday and Wedding Goodness!

So this past weekend was slammed with the goodness of celebrating friends! LB had a birthday, and Jared and Jennifer got married. If you want to see pictures go to My Pictures